Writers cramp! ©
  • JOHN AND MARGARET'S FRONT PAGE~~
  • Copyrights Explained
  • Blog~~Scribblings~Scrawlings and Scratchings
  • Words ~ Words ~ More Scribbles
  • Gardening Blog
  • General Blog
  • John's Poetry ~2013
  • Friday Flasher
  • Inspiration Monday
  • Poem-a-day November 2016
  • 750 WORDS Section Two
  • Untitled
This above all; to thine own self be true. 
William Shakespeare

 COMPETITION ENTRY ~ 29th July 2015

30/7/2015

0 Comments

 
Picture
DIALOGUE WITH A DAISY
by John Yeo

The garden was a mess, there had been an incredible North wind overnight that savagely blew everything to bits. I leaned on my spade and surveyed the damage, branches and leaves had been ripped from our trees and were lying everywhere.
 Then out of nowhere a tiny voice whispered  'Please don't tread on me!'
  Shaken, as I knew I was totally alone, I wheeled around in surprise.
   'I'm down here! Next to your incredibly large foot.'
 I looked down to find there was nothing there except Dandelions, Daisies and Grass.
   'I can't see you! If you are real and not a figment of my imagination make yourself visible!' I declared. 
At this point I seriously doubted my sanity. 
  'Look again! I am the good looking one with the purest white petals and a yellow heart of gold'
 Stunned, I was now certain madness loomed and I was headed for hospital, I made to get away from there fast.
   'No! Don't go please, I would love to talk to you about many things. I have been watching you very closely. Why do you work so hard, and worry so much?'
  I thought, Why should I be worried about one small insignificant voice claiming to be a natural being.
  'What do you mean by petals and a yellow heart? Do you mean to say you are a common Daisy? If so, I can't tell one of you from another, you all look the same to me!'
The tiny Daisies voice reflected a note of annoyance as it politely stated. 
   'Less of the common, Big-Feet. We have a unique way of survival that excludes individuality and we are rooted here as one. Funny though, I can never differentiate the different clodhoppers that stomp  around and squash our leaves and petals!'
   'Listen Daisy, if you actually are a talking flower how did you acquire the language I use, and how do you manage to express yourself? You ask me why I work so hard, I have to say the garden would quickly go to rack and ruin if I stood rooted to the spot like a daisy!'
   'My language skills are a result of much study of your people's thought patterns and I am the result of much floral cross-breeding. We have very  friendly relations with your newborn babies and we mingle our minds with them and learn your language as they learn language.'
   'That's amazing!' I shouted to the array of daisies around my feet,
I was desperately trying to identify which of the numerous daisies was actually responsible for the conversation. I wanted to dig it up and put it in a pot to take indoors and perhaps have many deep inter-species conversations.
  Then I heard a sound that was suspiciously like a giggle coming from the vicinity of my neighbours fence. Then a chuckle was clearly evident leading to an embarrassing roar of laughter, that led to enormous fits of laughter. My face became bright red as I realised the implication of these odious sounds.
 Realisation dawned as I remembered my neighbour was a ventriloquist and very skilled at throwing his voice.

Copyright (c) Written by John Yeo ~ All rights reserved.



~~

I wrote the above piece of writing in response to an e-mail from Margaret Johnson announcing a competition.

"In no more than 500 words, demonstrate something you learnt on the WriteUP Creative Writing Course you took part in. Some of you have taken part in longer courses than others, so you lot will have more choice about what to demonstrate, but all of you should be able at the very least to show me a character that you've brought to life.

You can write anything you like, but no more than the 500 word limit, and please state at the end of your piece what aspect of your learning you have intended to show in your piece - for example, if you're intending to show me a three-dimensional character, say this. Or if you want to show me you can write and set out dialogue, say that etc."

The closing date is Friday 14th August.

The prize will be a £5 voucher redeemable against your next WriteUP Course. I know, it's not a lot, but think of the glory!!! 
~~~~~~~


0 Comments

FINAL DAY OF Margaret Johnson's  WRITING GROUP 

5/7/2015

0 Comments

 
We were a few minutes early and we stopped to sit by the river, where I went over the notes that Margaret J. had provided last week and read over my story once again before we arrived. 
 The writers assembled, we started with a couple of hints from Margaret then there was a draw to see who would start first to read their work out loud to the group. My name came up as the first and I began to slowly read my work. I finished reading my presentation then Margaret J. encouraged the others to criticise, I was expected to keep quiet while this was happening. I was mildly surprised that most of the feedback was positive. Etienne remarked that he actually liked the way I read the story aloud. I felt quite satisfied with the results of these responses.

Points to remember~

~ I will certainly be using dialogue a lot more than I usually do when I write in the future. 
  ~Theme was another aspect that I have learned about. I will be certainly looking for the theme that runs through everything I write in the future.
 I got an excellent feedback printout from Margaret J. and on the basis of this I think I can improve and enlarge this story into a posible book. I will qoute one paragraph from this excellent summary as I like the way she has expressed this.

"I think you have created a really interesting character in Maxwell, John, it just needs a bit more clarity I think."

These are the suggestions for changes and/or improvements

1) Lose the first section.
2) In places more clarity is needed, for example There was confusion over the funeral that followed on very closely to the letter from the solicitors saying that Maxwell was dead. The assumption was that this was a fake funeral for Maxwell.
3) Clarence Hall came in from nowhere without any explanation about who he is. ( This was because I had cut his introduction out to keep within the 1500 word limit ).  
4) Occasionally I should include more action and/or thoughts/description between lines of dialogue.
eg when Maxwell and his wife are talking in the garden, the first description could be 'threaded into the dialogue,' maybe interspersed with image of men carrying furniture etc past.
5) I changed viewpoint a few times from Maxwell to Clarence Hall and Joey Brown. making the story a bit hoppy. A film-like quality since if it were a screenplay you would hop from character to character in this way.
Occasionally the dialogue felt stilted This is easily fixed by the use of contractions ~ i.e. instead of 'We are broke,' 'We're broke,' and 'We're just leaving.'

My Margaret was the last but one to read her work and this also went down very well with everybody present. The work entitled 'Madam Butterfly,'  was cleverly presented in the Epistolary form, we had had a lesson on this form of writing during the course and Margaret had put her story together brilliantly using this method. 
 The story started when two elderly ladies discover a body in a run down cottage. This is the body of a celebrated Opera singer. Sadly after she had reached the top and sang a role in the Opera, she had an affair with the conductor, Bellini. He rejected her and cut her dead after making her pregnant. She had an abortion and then her parents cut her dead. It seemed she lived as a recluse for a number of years and finally committed suicide. This also went down very well with the rest of the group and Margaret 'J' said with some revision, my Margaret has a very good book to be written.

We may come into contact with Margaret 'J', again if we decide to attend her coffee shop creative writing sessions from 9th September in Norwich at Stephanies Coffee House, Eaton. These will be held from 10am to 12.00pm

0 Comments

FINAL HOMEWORK SUBMISSION FOR MARGARET JOHNSON ~ 30th JUNE 2015

3/7/2015

0 Comments

 
THE UPS AND DOWNS IN THE LIFE OF DICKUS

by John Yeo

Maxwell Braithwaite Dickus, sold his business to a very big bank and became a multi-millionaire instantly.
As with many other windfall wealthy individuals, his actions then followed the easy come easy go philosophy, and he spent recklessly. Maxwell invested heavily in the stock market, and his personal broker encouraged him, buying and selling stock for him in some very questionable outfits.     
Maxwell and his beautiful wife Mary were often seen together in Monte Carlo, Mary would spend time sunbathing on their luxury yacht, while Maxwell spent his time and money in the casinos.
Horse racing was another vice, he was a very valued client of a large bookmaking concern headed by Joey Brown, a very shady character who allowed him an extraordinary credit limit to finance his gambling habit.

Disaster struck without warning. A global stock-market crash destroyed many hopes and dreams. Sadly Maxwell lost everything.

The world was never going to look the same again. The sun would never shine as bright again. Maxwell Braithwaite-Dickus looked at himself in the antique mirror for the last time before the auctioneers arrived to clear his spacious house. Depression loomed as the finality of the crash sank in and the reality of bankruptcy became clear.
Mary was shocked.
'Oh. Why?' She shouted, ' Dammit Maxie, you have bloody done it now!
I have never felt so embarrassed before in my life. You have ruined us!'
'Mary, I'm truly sorry, I thought we would be secure for the rest of our lives, never to worry about money again! My plans are in ruins, I never saw this crash coming.'
'Maxie, I know you so well after all these years. It is so unlike you to put all your eggs in one basket. I really refuse to believe we are as bad off as you are making out. What is going on?'
'I wish you were right, my lovely wife. We are broke, stony broke... I have many debts and some very nasty people are chasing me for money. We may have to go into hiding for a while until I can find a way out of this mess.'
Mary brushed away a tear and cried. 'This is unbelievable! What are we going to do?'

Two men entered the conservatory.
  'Sorry Sir, we have to clear the furniture and effects from this room now.'
'Go ahead! We are just leaving!'

They moved into the beautiful garden and strolled across immaculately manicured lawns. The sun shone gloriously on the lake  teeming with wildfowl and full of fish. Leaving their home would be an awful wrench.

'Max, I had a suspicion that we couldn't go on spending as we have for very much longer. What are we going to do?'
'I have secretly sold the house and transferred the funds to an offshore account Mary. My brother Ferdinand in Paris has agreed to put us up for a while. I am sure you will love it there, the shopping is out of this world.'
'Are you mad? We are running away from here because we are broke and you are suggesting I spend even more.'
'Mary, life's for living, my darling, we have a little money from the sale of the house and I will soon recover my fortunes again.'
'Now listen to me Max, I will hate to leave here as I have loved my house and garden. I will come to France with you but on my terms. There will be no more gambling and squandering of our very little resources in future.'
'Mary, I think you are wonderful! You will never regret staying with me.'

Ferdinand and his family lived in a splendid detached house in the centre of Paris. Mary and Maxwell were made to feel at home.
'Stay as long as you like, we are very pleased to have the company Maxwell, we must get together to catch up properly after dinner tonight.'
Time passed swiftly and Maxwell and Mary blended into the locality seamlessly until two strangers arrived asking many people many questions.
One uneventful day the local patisserie owner M. Boulez, mentioned a mysterious visit of two Englishmen asking questions and showing a great interest in the newcomers.
Ferdinand became very nervous about things and began to worry about the safety of his wife and children. There had been a spate of kidnappings  and he feared for their lives.
Maxwell and Mary were to be on the move again as soon as alternative arrangements could be made.
Mary was soon making enquiries among her very wide circle of  magical friends and a very old friend of a friend offered to help.
'Maxwell my dear, you are going to become an employee on a very large estate in the highlands of Scotland.'



Joey Brown  was very irate when the news arrived from one of his informants  that Dickus had run into trouble and in the words of the messenger. 'Done a runner and disappeared.’
The very sore point with Joey was the five hundred thousand pounds he was owed.

Meanwhile on a remote estate in the highlands of Scotland, Maxwell and Mary were settling in comfortably. Mary missed her house and friends in the city, but she had been introduced and welcomed into the local coven of practitioners of magical arts. Maxwell was employed under an assumed name as the estate manager.
Then one fateful day a letter arrived from a firm of solicitors with regard to a large sum of money in trust for Maxwell that had been forwarded  to Mary by her sister Grace in Colchester. Mary immediately wrote back to Grace imploring her never to reveal their new address to anyone, and enclosed the following letter addressed to the solicitors.


Dear Sirs,
I regret to inform you of the sudden death of Maxwell Braithwaite Dickus.
Please forward all further correspondence to solicitors. Hammond, Jones and Williamson, London EC1.

 A few days later Clarence Hall was talking over the airwaves to Joey Brown.
'Hey Joey, I have just had news that Braithwaite-Dickus is dead. I think this is rather sudden and I will make some more enquiries. We need to meet up and compare notes soon, maybe early next week? Have your team had any luck? We seem to be coming up with dead ends.'
‘No news here Clarrie. That death came out of the blue! Who shot the son-of-bitch? I will get back to you about a meeting. Be lucky my friend.'




 The funeral was extraordinarily well attended. This man was respected, loathed, loved and hated in many places. Some arrived to make sure he was actually dead and to raise a glass in celebratory style. Others were genuinely sad as the deceased had been extraordinarily generous to those who were loyal to him. The media were there in force, this man was a wheeler and dealer who  had a very sketchy history of violence and contrastingly of genuine charity to those in need, this death was news.
Six black horses led the cortège pulling an ornate carriage, many members of the family and some very close personal friends walked slowly behind as the procession wended its way to the cathedral.
Joey Brown was seated above a retail shop with several friends and acquaintances using a pair of very high powered binoculars to survey the mourners in detail.
'I am certain our man is here somewhere, he is sure to break cover to pay his last respects to his late Uncle Alphonso, rumour has it that Dickus is in line to inherit a very large sum of money. I want what he owes me paid back with interest.'
There was a general ripple of assent from everyone there, James Black, his right hand man and personal assistant then replied. 'No worries Boss we have men everywhere, if the scumbag should have the nerve to show his face, we will get him and bring him here!'
So far there had been no luck and it seemed as if the exercise was to be a waste of everyone's time.
Waiting in the cathedral was another group of people with an identical mission. Clarence Hall was there with associates, examining the mourners and the family members in detail.
Maxwell Braithwaite Dickus was a very wanted man in more ways than one, as his Uncle went to his last resting place in style.
As the funeral service began, there was a slight disturbance when the doors were opened to allow the entrance of a latecomer. Clarence did not even  turn his head to assure himself that his time was not wasted, he guessed and signalled to an accomplice.
Meanwhile Joey Brown was hopping mad as a black sedan with heavily tinted windows had smashed into the windows of the shop below and the occupants had fled. This took everyone's attention away from the search and the place was crawling with police who were trying to establish the facts of how it happened. Joey's men were in hot pursuit of the occupants while the object of the afternoons exercise was paying his last respects in the cathedral.
When the service ended and the congregation began to file out, Clarence Hall became mystified as his people were unable to locate Dickus among the crowd of mourners. The family and close friends were expected to gather in a luxury hotel in the centre of the city and Clarence and friends raced to intercept him at the wake.
Meanwhile a close friend of Mary was accompanying an infirm man in a wheelchair to the airport to catch a flight back to Scotland. Mary, was there to meet her and the plane took off.
'Phew, that was a close run escape Mary, it was wonderful how that PI firm was able to infiltrate and read every move our pursuers made. How did they do it! They are brilliant at the job they do.'
'I have known Marg for years.'  Mary replied, 'She does not come cheap, but our fortunes have changed suddenly and when Alphonso's will is settled, we will be very wealthy again!'
'Excellent!' Exclaimed Maxwell.
'Just one last thing Maxie, I know you will not like this. I have arranged for Marg to seek out all of your creditors and settle all your gambling debts without delay. In future I will handle our finances my love.'
'All our finances?  Mary, my  darling.'

 Copyright © ~ Written by John Yeo ~ All rights reserved



0 Comments

Story continuation ~27th June 2015 ~

28/6/2015

0 Comments

 
M.J. STORY CONTINUATION ~ 27th June 2015 ~ 

The world was never going to look the same again. The sun would never shine as bright again. Maxwell Braithwaite-Dickus looked at himself in the antique mirror for the last time before the auctioneers arrived to clear his spacious house. Depression loomed as the finality of the crash of his worldly situation sank in and the reality of bankruptcy became clear.
 Mary knew she would have to make changes to her lifestyle and get used to a much lower standard of living in view of their reduced circumstances. 

 'Mary, I'm truly sorry, I thought we would be secure for the rest of our lives, never having to worry about money ever again! My plans are in ruins. I never saw this crash coming and I can not believe the finality of our situation.'
 'Maxie, Why ever did you not tell me, I know you so well after all these years. It is so unlike you to put all your eggs in one basket, my dear. I really refuse to believe we are as bad off as you are making out. What is going on?'
 'I wish you were right, my lovely wife. We are broke, stony broke... I have many debts and some very nasty people are chasing me for money. We may have to go into hiding for a while until I can find a way out of this mess.'
 'This is unbelievable! What are we going to do to get ourselves out of this mess?'

Two men entered the conservatory. 
  "Sorry Sir, we have to clear the furniture and effects from this room now.'
 'Go ahead,! We are just leaving!'

 They moved into the beautiful garden and strolled across the immaculately manicured lawns. The sun shone gloriously on the lake that was teeming with wildfowl and full of fish. Leaving their home would be an awful wrench.

 'Max, I had a suspicion that we couldn't go on spending as we have for very much longer. What are we going to do?'
 'I have already secretly sold the house and transferred the funds to an offshore account Mary, My brother Ferdinand in Paris has agreed to put us up for a while. I am sure you will love it there and the shopping is out of this world.'
 'Are you mad? We are running away from here because we are broke and you are suggesting I spend even more.'
 'Mary, life is for living, my darling, we have a little money from the sale of the house and I will soon recover my fortunes again.'
 'Now listen to me Max my beloved, I will hate to leave here as I have loved my house and garden. My circle of friends will always be there for me and I don't think you should underestimate me my love. I will come to France with you but on my terms. There will be no more gambling and squandering of our very little resources in future.'
 'My Mary, I think you are wonderful! You will never regret coming along with me, we are a match for each other.'

 Joey Brown was a Turf Accountant, a man with many fingers in many pies. The news had sent a frisson of shock through his being. Joey was very angry! His most valued client had disappeared owing him many thousands of pounds. He called a meeting of his trusted associates and shouted aggressively.
 'I want that Dickus found and I want my money! I know he has secreted millions in off-shore accounts and he has welshed on his debts to me and many others! Find him and I will pay half of the recovered cash as a reward.'
 'Yes Boss'... 
 'Turn him upside down and shake the money out of him, I will wait to hear from you. Go and find the slag!'

The room cleared like magic as the pursuers left to begin the search.

There was another person who was badly shaken to hear the shocking news of the disappearance. One Clarence Hall a shady stock-market trader and accountant, who had extended a vast sum in credit to our friend Maxwell Braithwaite-Dickus.

0 Comments

MARGARET JOHNSON'S FOURTH SESSION ON CREATIVE WRITING ~ 25th June 2015 ~ 750

26/6/2015

0 Comments

 

MARGARET JOHNSON'S FOURTH SESSION ON CREATIVE WRITING ~ 25th June 2015 ~ 750

 We assembled for the writing group at the usual venue in Norwich. Sadly we lost one of our students today as Joy is unable to complete the course due to outside demands on her time. 
First we indulged in a warmup exercise where we all had a piece of paper and we were asked to write the first sentence of a story on the theme of Betrayal. We then passed the paper to the person on our right and wrote a second sentence to continue the story. When our original piece of paper was returned, there was a story of five sentences, written by five different people and we had to write a closing sentence. This was great, and it was surprising how good the stories turned out. 

 Following this we had a discussion in small groups on the subject of themes of individual books, it was incredible how difficult it is to nail the meaning of a theme.
Margaret 'J', likened the theme to a skeleton on which the various parts of the theme are nailed.

We decided that the theme develops as the story unfolds, in fact Margaret 'J' stated that her theme of a particular book never becomes clear until she has completed about a third of the book.

 Margaret 'J', had this list of words on a large sheet of paper pinned to a board. 

Ambition, Beauty, Courage, Duty, Fear, Freedom, Happiness, Jealousy, Loneliness, Loyalty, Perseverance, Prejudice, Suffering, Truth. 

These of course are all words that can be described as the basis of a theme.
 
A theme is something to latch onto. 
The thoughts you are left with. 
Something deeper than the event.
 A reflection of aspects of life. 
The basics. 
A sentence that sums up the message of the book.
The theme could be many things.

We were then asked to write a sentence to describe the theme of a book that we have read that has made an impression on us. I chose "Jonathan Livingston Seagull" written by JS Bach.

I wrote this basic outline to guide me to an answer....
The theme of Jonathan Livingston Seagull is development of personal abilities and improvement of goals by the example of an imaginary seagull in his struggle to overcome the stages in learning to fly. The theme is the struggle to fly higher, more acrobatically. The theme running parallel is the development of the self by self improvement for example the flight of the imagination. The theme of the story is flight and many imaginary aspects of flight.
 I then wrote on the board, the title of the book and the theme of this book is flight and self development. 
Margaret 'J' did not think this quite fully answered the request and after some discussion, Etienne came up with this alternative response.  'Does self-improvement empower people?'
When I got home I looked up an answer to the question, What is the theme of Jonathan Livingston Seagull?
This was the reply....
 "The overall theme of the book is that we should all strive to reach our greatest potential and break out of the boundaries that limit us. Bach tries to fuse the enlightenment thought that man (or gull) himself can overcome all obstacles with both New Age and Christian concepts of the soul and the afterlife to create his own spiritual philosophy"
Margaret 'J' then displayed a very interesting list of things in her life that inspired her.
We were then asked to list some areas or aspects of our lives that had made the same sort of impression on us.
I wrote the following.

The future is and always will be in your hands.
If I meet someone who cares the future is with that person.
Two can live cheaper than one and life will be beautiful.
Death always happens to someone else.
To find oneself is the goal of life.
Open yourself to others or the book will always be closed.
Let the past go and live another chapter.

We were then asked to write a story on one of several statements written up.
I chose..."
"It might take time but your expectations can eventually be realised"

I wrote this.....
The goal was clearly impossible thought James, 'How can that ever be achieved? " James was born in the rural village of Broxborough in the county of Essex. Every year there was a rural county show, people arrived in droves from all the surrounding farms in the area to take part and view the amazing exhibitions and examples of farmyard implements and machinery. The highlight of the show for James was the performance of the red-devils, a team of paratroopers who were able to land on a very small square of material. James dreamt of performing this and the minute he reached the age of admission he joined up with the Paratroop regiment and was assigned to the company based in Aldershot, where he took his first stumble into an aeroplane after some basic training.

(845 Words)

0 Comments

FOURTH DRAFT OF MAIN ASSIGNMENT ~ 23rd June 2015 

26/6/2015

0 Comments

 
FOURTH DRAFT OF MAIN ASSIGNMENT ~ 23rd June 2015 
 The funeral was extraordinarily well attended, people had arrived from all over the world. This man was respected, loathed, loved and hated in many places, by very many. Some arrived to make sure he was actually dead and to raise a glass in celebratory style. Others were genuinely sad as the deceased had been extraordinarily generous to those who were loyal to him. The media were there with a very heavy presence as this man was a wheeler and dealer who  had a very sketchy history of violence and contrastingly of genuine charity to those in need. In other words this death was news and news was what kept the media arenas in business. 
 Six black horses led the cortège pulling an ornate carriage, many members of the family and some very close personal friends walked slowly behind as the procession made its way to the cathedral. 
 Joey Brown a turf accountant of some renown was seated above a retail shop with several friends and acquaintances using a pair of very high powered binoculars to survey the mourners in detail. 
 'I am certain our man is here somewhere, he is sure to break cover to pay his last respects to his late Uncle Alphonso, rumour has it that Dickus is in line to inherit a very large sum of money. I want what he owes me paid back with interest.'
 There was a general ripple of assent from everyone there, James Black, his right hand man and personal assistant then replied. 'No worries Boss we have men everywhere, if the scumbag should have the nerve to show his face, we will get him and bring him here!'
 So far there had been no luck and it seemed as if the exercise was to be a waste of everyone's time.
Waiting in the cathedral was another group of people with an identical mission. Clarence Hall a very influential city stockbroker was there as an invited guest examining the mourners and the family members in detail.
 Maxwell Braithwaite Dickus was a very wanted man in more ways than one, as his Uncle went to his last resting place in style. 
 As the funeral service began, there was a slight disturbance at the entrance when the doors were opened to allow the entrance of a latecomer. Clarence did not even have to turn his head to assure himself that his time was not wasted, he guessed and signalled to an accomplice at the door. 
 Meanwhile our friend Joey Brown was hopping mad as a black sedan with heavily tinted windows had smashed into the windows of the shop below and the occupants had run off. This took everyone's attention away from the search and the place was crawling with police who were trying to establish the facts of how it happened. Joey's men were in hot pursuit of the occupants while the object of the afternoons exercise was paying his last respects in the cathedral.
 When the service ended and the congregation began to file out, Clarence Hall became mystified as his people were unable to locate Dickus among the crowd of mourners. The family and close friends were expected to gather in a luxury hotel in the centre of the city and Clarence and his friends raced to intercept him at the wake. 
 Meanwhile a close friend of Mary was accompanying an infirm man in a wheelchair to the airport to catch a flight back to Scotland. Mary together with a very well trusted private investigator friend Marg, were there to meet her and the plane took off.
 'Phew, that was a close run escape Mary, it was wonderful how that head of the PI firm was able to infiltrate and read every move our pursuers made. How did they do it! They are brilliant at the job they do.'
 'I have known Marg for years.'  Mary replied, 'She does not come cheap, but our fortunes have changed suddenly and when Alphonso's will is settled, we will be very wealthy again!'
 'Excellent!' Exclaimed Maxwell.  'Our move to the Eastern coast of Australia is going ahead as planned. I have instructed a firm of solicitors to take control of our affairs and we will be able to move into a very desirable rental property when we decide to go.' 
 'Just one last thing Maxie, I know you will not like this. I have arranged for Marg to seek out all of your creditors and settle all your gambling debts without delay. In future I will handle our finances my love.'

(769 Words)
0 Comments

THIRD DRAFT OF MAIN ASSIGNMENT  22nd June 2015~ 750

23/6/2015

0 Comments

 
 We have touched very little on the aspirations of Maxwell Braithwaite Dickus, a man who had very little conscience and was capable of the most cold calculated actions. A man who relied totally on his wits to survive. Maxwell set up an online financial adviser service, then with many millions of pounds, invested by thousands of small investors, he sold out to a very big bank and became a multi-millionaire instantly.
 As with many other windfall wealthy individuals, his actions then followed the easy come easy go philosophy and he spent recklessly. Maxwell lost a very great deal of money by playing the stock market, and his personal broker encouraged him by extending a large credit balance and buying and selling stock for him in some very questionable outfits. Maxwell and his beloved wife Mary were often seen together in Monte Carlo, Mary would spend time sunbathing on their luxury yacht, while Maxwell spent his time and money in the casinos.
 Horse racing was another vice and Maxwell had an interest in a string of thoroughbreds, gambling was in his nature and he was a very valued client of a large bookmaking concern headed by Joey Brown, a shady character who operated just inside of the law. Joey was aware of his clients wealth from the sale of his business and allowed him an extraordinary credit limit to finance his gambling habit.
 Maxwell and Mary were a team and although he never let Mary into the state of their finances, she was the only person on this earth who he trusted implicitly.
 Mary had met Maxwell five years prior to the sale of his business, through an on-line dating agency.
 Mary an unashamed self-confessed white witch, very well known in magical circles, fell for his devil-may-care attitude to life and his obvious devotion to her charms. 
 Then came the crash and reality struck hard. Maxwell took the news so philosophically that Mary wondered if he was himself. One day over lunch he coolly broke the news of their dire straights.
 'Mary, I am sorry to have to tell you we are in trouble, I have lost money on some recent investments and we are broke. Some very nasty people are hounding me for money.'
 'Max, I had a suspicion that we couldn't go on spending as we have for very much longer. What are we going to do?'
 'I have already secretly sold the house and transferred the funds to an offshore account Mary, My brother Ferdinand in Paris has agreed to put us up for a while. I am sure you will love it there and the shopping is out of this world.'
 'Are you mad? We are running away from here because we are broke and you are suggesting I spend even more.'
 'Mary, life is for living, my darling, we have a little money from the sale of the house and I will soon recover my fortunes again.'
 'Now listen to me Max my beloved, I will hate to leave here as I have loved my house and garden. My circle of friends will always be there for me and I don't think you should underestimate me my love. I will come to France with you but on my terms. There will be no more gambling and squandering of our very little resources in future.'
 'My Mary, I think you are wonderful! You will never regret coming along with me, we are a match for each other.
 Ferdinand and his family lived in a splendid detached house in the centre of the city. Mary and Maxwell were made to feel at home immediately.
 'Stay as long as you like, we are very pleased to have the company. Maxwell we must get together to catch up properly after dinner tonight.'
 Time passed swiftly and Maxwell and Mary blended into the locality seamlessly until two strangers arrived asking many people many questions. 
 Ferdinand then became very nervous about things and he began to worry about the safety of his wife and children. There had been a spate of kidnappings at the time and he feared for their lives.
 Maxwell and Mary were to be on the move again as soon as alternative arrangements could be made.
 Mary was soon making enquiries among her very wide circle of  magical friends and a very old friend of a friend offered to help.
 'Maxwell my dear, you are going to become an employee on my friends very large estate in the highlands of Scotland.'

(766 Words) 


0 Comments

 SECOND DRAFT OF MAIN ASSIGNMENT ~June 21st, 2015

22/6/2015

0 Comments

 
 Joey Brown, a very long-standing member of the highest echelons of racing society was hopping mad, he was very irate indeed. News had come through from one of his information sources that a very high roller and a classy customer of his, Maxie Braithwaite-Dickus had run into trouble and in the very wise words of the messenger, "Done a runner" and disappeared. 
 The very sore point with Joey was the one hundred thousand pounds he was owed.
He called a meeting of the fixers in his firm and offered a massive percentage of this sum as a reward for the recovery of the outstanding debts.
'We will find that slag and turn him upside down and shake the money out of his pockets,  I am sure he has salted away enough money to cover his bill.'
 'We are on the way Boss, not a stone will be left unturned, wherever the mark is hiding will soon become transparent.'
 A short while later Joey was on his computer using Skype, in a face-to-face meeting with one of his closest friends, Clarence Hall a very shady stockbroker and financial advisor.
 'Yes Joey, I have heard, I am also shocked and surprised, Dickus owes me thousands in professional fees and unpaid stock transfer notes.'
 'I have set some recovery wheels in motion Clarrie, I think if your man links up with my team, we will be able to swap information and trap the scumbag. I am sure he has a very great deal of money salted away.'
 'I know for certain Joey, the slag made millions from the sale of his dot.com business, I could never pin him down on where he kept his money. I tried all ways to get that information to no avail. I know he made some very expensive bad investments and how much he loved to see the roulette wheel spin, but he must still be very wealthy.'

 Meanwhile on a remote estate in the highlands of Scotland, Maxie and Mary had a trouble free lifestyle and were settling in as comfortably as possible. Mary missed her house and friends in the city, but she had been introduced and welcomed into the local coven of practitioners of magical arts. Maxie was employed under an assumed name as an estates manager by some very good friends of friends of Mary, however he had set up an on-line business using his assumed identity and things were looking good.

 Then one fateful day an unopened letter arrived addressed to Mary from a firm of solicitors with regard to a large sum of money in trust for Maxwell that had been forwarded  to her by her sister Grace in Colchester. Mary immediately wrote back to Grace imploring her never to reveal their new address to anyone, and enclosed the following letter addressed to the solicitors. 
This is a copy of the contents. 
Dear Sirs, I regret to inform you of the sudden death of Maxwell Braithwaite Dickus. 
Please forward all further correspondence to solicitors. Hammond, Jones and Williamson, London EC1.

A few days later Clarence Hall was talking over the airwaves to Joey Brown. 
 'Hey Joey, I have just had news that Braithwaite-Dickus is dead. I think this is rather sudden and I will make some more enquiries. We need to meet up and compare notes soon, maybe early next week? Have your team had any luck? We seem to be coming up with dead ends.' 
 'No news here Clarrie, that death came out of the blue! Who shot the son-of-bitch? I will get back to you about a meeting. Be lucky my friend.'

 Mary said to Maxie 'We need to move fast, I think the Highlands are becoming hot. I understand Australia is easy on immigration if you are prepared to invest. I will not beat about the bush here, I know how wealthy we really are and I think it is time to move again.'
 'My dear Mary, whatever you say, you never cease to amaze me with your constant perspicacity, we have always read each other so well. How about your other magical interests?'
  'Leave things as usual Maxwell, I will be contacting a very old well trusted friend Marg, who runs a successful private detective agency to make arrangements for a very swift departure. I know this will be expensive, but she has some very high- power, influential friends and contacts to smooth the way.'
'Mary I have heard a vicious, slanderous, gossipy rumour that the outbreak of illness leading to the death of several Highland cattle is the work of some black magic and witchcraft. Although the local officials say there is a poisonous waterhole involved. Would this have anything to do with our hasty departure, my dear?'
  
'Careful Maxwell!'

 (794 Words)
0 Comments

FIRST DRAFT OF MAIN ASSIGNMENT ~ 20TH JUNE ~ 2015  

21/6/2015

0 Comments

 
FIRST DRAFT OF MAIN ASSIGNMENT ~ 20TH JUNE ~ 2015 

 The scandal was breathtakingly widespread and affected many many people. Small investors who had entrusted their life savings in this company were ruined overnight. The returns were advertised as astronomical and a sure-fire way to pay for a very comfortable retirement.     Then came the crash that destroyed the hopes and dreams of everyone.
 Maxie was a gambler, he had made a huge fortune from cyberspace and was a ruthless unprincipled dot.com, millionaire, having sold his very profitable on-line business to a large competitor. Sadly the gambling traits in his character rose to the surface and before very long he had lost everything, to horse racing, roulette and he was a major investor in the stock of this crashed company.
 Maxie was happily married to Mary, a very loyal wife who looked after his every need and she soon realised she was the only person who Maxie ever really trusted implicitly. Mary and Maxie had met through an on-line dating site and immediately clicked. Mary had her own interests and was steeped in witchcraft and the occult. Maxie was vaguely aware of this and took a worldly view of her influences without any close involvement in this side of her life. 
 Their world was suddenly turned upside down as Maxie owed hundreds of thousands of pounds to some very shady characters. 
 Mary was furious when she realised the lovely old house they owned together would have to go.
'Why didn't you let me know a little about your business affairs? I could have helped you before it was too late.'
'Don't shout at me! I had to keep up with your expensive tastes, and I am sure your witchcraft would not have helped' Maxie replied.
'You have a gambling nature, Max! We will have to do something fast before your unsavoury friends come knocking on the door searching for you.'
Then Maxie produced two airline tickets for a flight to France. 'My brother Ferdinand will put us up for a while until things begin to settle down.'
 Mary reluctantly agreed and they fled to Paris to live on the good nature of Ferdinand for a while. One uneventful day the local patisserie owner M. Boulez, mentioned a mysterious visit of two Englishmen asking questions and showing a great interest in the newcomers. Ferdinand immediately became eaten up with a fearful dread of something happening to his wife and children and asked his brother Maxwell to leave and make other arrangements. 
Mary then pulled an ace from her magical deck of cards, 
 'Max, my sister in Colchester has e-mailed a copy of an advertisement for a couple to run a large estate in Scotland as an estate manager and housekeeper, these people are part of our mutual circle of friends and we have an excellent chance of getting the job. There is a tied cottage that comes with the job. We will never be traced there by anyone.' 
 'Mary, that is wonderful news, we must contact the owners immediately and respond, I am sure I will be able to handle a job of that nature and I will have time to clear my debts and get out of trouble.'
 The interview was a formality as Mary was very well known to the owners of the estate from her extensive circle of mutual acquaintances.
 Six months passed very rapidly, and things seemed to be settling down to a mundane safe routine. One day Maxie informed Mary that there were two very unsavoury characters on his trail. One was a very wealthy stockbroker, Clarence Hall, who was chasing them for a hundred thousand pounds in unpaid stock deals that had been accumulated during the good old days. The other person hounding him was Joey Brown a very nasty piece of work who masqueraded as a bookmaker, he was very dangerous and had a reputation for violence that preceded him wherever he went.
 Maxie had settled in to his new employment and environment very well indeed and the estate was making a profit, mostly due to his excellent administrative skills. Although Mary was somewhat doubtful, he assured everyone that he had now stopped gambling totally. There was a strong suspicion in Mary's mind that he had hung on to a very large part of his fortune simply by not paying his debts. Paper fortunes do not take up very much space. 
 Maxwell kept himself to himself and was very rarely seen in public, although they were seen together around the locality and attended church together and were members of the local community centre and attended functions on a very sporadic basis.

(772 Words)

0 Comments

CREATIVE WRITING GROUP ~ WEEK 3 ~ 18th June 2015 

19/6/2015

0 Comments

 
 We attended our third creative writing session with Margaret Johnson in Norwich today. We were both very impressed with the day and I think I will devote this writing to my thoughts.

First about the reception of my homework efforts from the previous week, I did not get a chance to read my Epistolary piece as I don't think there was time for all of us to read out our efforts. When it came to submitting our examples of dialogue from books we have read, I put forward "Crime and Punishment", by Fyodor Dostoyevsky, and I gave the chapter and part of the book containing the interesting dialogue. Sadly I did not bring any examples of the dialogue to share as most of the others did, I stumbled and spoke too softly and quickly I think, to get my message across clearly. I still feel quite uncomfortable about this mistake, although the response from everyone was good. I think perhaps we are all our own sternest critics.
 The first exercise for this session was wordplay. We had to write our names down on paper and use the first letter to construct a sentence. I did this and it was incredibly well received by everyone.
Jazz ~ Or ~ Highbrow ~ Never ~ Lose ~ Love ~ Or ~ Yesterday's ~ Dreams. ~~Yesterday's ~ Ending ~ Orifice. ~ 
 Next we were issued with a printout of an extract from a novel entitled. "Dead Souls" by Nikolai Gogol.
This was an example of creating a setting as a Character Portrait.
 I came up with the following piece of writing.

Horse brasses covered the chimney-breast and the mantelpiece. A glass cabinet containing a large spoon with hieroglyphics embedded in the wooden handle was attached to the wall. The door to the cottage creaked on rusty hinges, whenever anyone entered. The interior of the cottage was spotless and well taken care of by the lady of the house. A pile of mail, mostly long brown envelopes was stacked on a wooden desk in a corner. A shotgun was leaning up against the back door, and a brace of pheasants hung in the kitchen. In the master bedroom there was a locked ornate chest at the end of a four-poster bed, with drawn curtains. On entry you realised at once that these people had not lived here for very long, some suitcases remained unpacked and there was a stack of cardboard boxes in a corner. Whenever a visitor rang the doorbell it was a long time before it was answered, and the lady of the house was always the person who answered the door. The master was rarely, if ever, seen. The was an aura of mystery about the spoon, which was never referred to or discussed openly. It was rumoured in the village the new tenant and his wife had something to hide and there was an untold story.

 Again I felt I had read this too fast and I felt I was hesitant with the explanations, I felt I was not getting my point across as clearly as I would have liked, but it was politely received by all, even though I was relieved when I had finished reading it aloud.

A piece of advice from Margaret J. That I think is worth remembering is to leave out any unnecessary descriptive writing. Stick to description that is relevant to the character or leave it out.

There was then a general discussion on the uses of dialogue in writing.
 Dialogue describes Events and the Plot, it can be used for driving the plot forwards.
Characters Feelings, although the dialogue might be saying one thing and doing another. Emotions.
Dialogue sets the scene. Revealing a characters Age, Social characteristics and the relationships between characters. 
 We then started a dialogue exercise using a printout that has had all the information taken out, leaving behind just the spoken words. We did not have time to complete this but I came up with this segment.

They stumbled over a log in the dark on the lane. 
Mary screamed, 'Jim!'
'What'
'I think he's dead'
'No he can't be. You haven't checked properly.'
'I have! You saw me. There's no pulse.'
'Hell!' He shouted. 'What shall we do?'
'I don't know, Jim. And less of the 'we'. This is your fault, you decided to come here.'
'Now wait a minute, Mary'
'No, that's just what I'm not doing. You can call the police yourself. I shouldn't have let you involve me in the first place.'

That is as far as I got with that exercise and I will finish working through the rest of it tomorrow. All in all I think this has been a very interesting satisfactory day for both of us.

 Margaret J. Then said that the last week of the course would be a read-back week, that is the week after next. 
 Between now and then we have to compose a piece of written work, possibly based on the character we have built over the last three weeks, about 1000 words long. E-mail the result to her on~
margaretkjohnsonauthor@gmail.com
We will then read the work aloud to the group and get some feedback on our efforts.


0 Comments
<<Previous

    Author

    Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.

    Archives

    July 2015
    June 2015

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.